The Story Of Us
by Greg'sgirl5
Summary: "And I'm dying to know, is it killing you like its killing me?" A oneshot/song fic for Morgan and Reid. It's not as long as it seems, and honestly, it's worth checking out. Slash, in case you didnt realize. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


_Disclaimer: I only own my imagination, and the creepy unsubs I create._

_Spencer's POV, shorter than it looks. Season 5-ish._

**The Story Of Us**

_I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us  
>How we met and the sparks flew instantly<br>People would say they're the lucky ones_

I look across the room at you once again, a fleeting glance, but you catch me in the act. I look down with a blush, avoiding your eyes. I fidget with my pen, twirling it in my awkward fingers. I lose myself in my thoughts, because there's a lot to think about.

I really thought we were perfect for each other. You were my saviour, and I was your anchor. We may be polar opposites, but according to a popular saying, that was what made us so compatible. We fit together easily. Easier than any other person I could imagine.

We'd share hotel rooms, come home together, go get coffee just the two of us... Any opportunity to spend time together was a chance we took. After the first kiss, I was connected to you in a way I couldn't, and still can't explain.

Derek, we were perfect.

_I used to know my spot was next to you  
>Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat<br>'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on_

We all arrive in the room the Miami police station has provided us, and you sit down with Prentiss and Rossi, leaving me hesitating awkwardly. There's just one open seat, and it's next to you. I can't sit there, it's strictly off limits.

Instead, I grab a few case files, and attempt to look casual as I pace back and forth, running both the case details, and my own worries through my brain at the same time. I guess I don't look too out of place, as Hotch is doing the same thing.

"Why interracial couples?" Rossi asked out loud, and I tune out all the conversation, no longer even reading the papers.

My mind is going where I long ago forbade it to go; you. Us. The end of what I had thought to be perfect, but apparently wasn't. I didn't even see it coming, when you said that simple sentence that ripped our relationship apart. It was a slap in the face. And it hurt.

__

_Oh, a simple complication  
>Miscommunications lead to fallout<br>So many things that I wish you knew  
>So many walls up, I can't break through<em>

So many things went wrong with us. But I had just assumed...I don't know, that we'd work through it. Honestly, it all started with one little miscommunication about our functionality, and went downhill from there.

"Reid?" Hotch asks, and I jump, realizing too late that I was staring at the papers in a trance. "What do you think?"

"Um...We might be looking at this the wrong way. We're asking why he's going for interracial couples, but there are too many judgemental people to narrow it down. Personally I think we should focus on where he met these people, and look to see if they were all a part of something together; something he was a part of." I say very quickly, trying to shove down the blush that reddens my face.

Rossi and Hotch both seem to agree with me, and as I look at Emily she nods. I avoid your face harshly, not wanting to see your eyes. JJ mentions something about calling Garcia to look into the couple's activities, but I'm thinking about us again.

Damn, I do that a lot, huh?_  
><em>

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room  
>And we're not speaking<br>And I'm dying to know, is it killing you  
>Like it's killing me<em>

As we give the profile to the police station, I feel as though I'm the only one in the room. I explain about the unsub's social circles and his motives, trying to seem professional, but at ease. I realize with a shock I'm trying to act like you.

Accidentally, my eyes meet yours, and with a cold breath, I look away. After that I stutter to regain my train of thought, cursing you for even being in the same room as me. You always seem to get a reaction out of me, whether bad or good.

And that's just it. You drive me utterly insane. I got so attached to you...to us. And it kills me, literally kills me, to see you doing fine. I'm in so much pain, and I'm so freaking lonely. And what are you?

You seem like nothing bothers you at all. Do you feel the same as me, and cover it up better, or are your seriously not affected every time we cross paths? It's not often, as Hotch has noticed our act of silence, and has made the wise decision not to pair us up.

But we can't avoid each other all the time. Fate really has it out for us. And it's a bitch._  
><em>

_I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
>When it all broke down<br>And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now_

Garcia was the only one who knew about us. And as I talk to her on the webcam, I notice her glances towards you in the back ground, behind the glass barrier. I'm alone in the small beige room, so she's safe to talk about the tragedy I like to call our relationship.

"My chocolate god still hasn't spoken to you?" She asks me with a pout, and I look at her as though she's incredibly slow. She's asked me that so many times.

"Can we not talk about him? Focus on the case Garcia." I mumble, and flip through some errant papers as an excuse to ignore her sad eyes.

"Boy genius, we both know you can't keep your thoughts off him." Your Baby Girl persists, and I can't help it as I snap.

"Garcia! Please! Just...just drop it."

She never really does through. I guess she has a little bit of a point. I _can't _keep my brain away from you. I continue to obsess over that night I've learned to despise so much, when my world fell apart, and my walls came crashing down.

Because of you Derek Morgan.

__

_Next chapter_

_How'd we end up this way?  
>See me nervously pulling at my <em>_clothes__ and trying to look busy  
>And you're doing your best to avoid me<em>

When we're forced to interrogate a suspect together, I nearly have a nervous breakdown. I literally let you do all the work, and sit back, pulling at my sleeves anxiously. The awkwardness is so thick you can actually feel it.

The person we're talking to, who I've already determined not to be the unsub, sends me glances for help every few minutes, but I say nothing. Other than greeting him and putting in a word here and there, I haven't spoken to him at all.

When we leave the interrogation room, I accidentally brush my hand against yours. I promise, it was an accident! I really wish I hadn't. You look at me coldly, your eyes narrowed. I push my back against the doorframe, allowing you to fully leave, all the while looking at my feet as though they were extremely interesting.

I should be given an award for how awkward I make every minute of the day.

_I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us  
>How I was losing my mind when I saw you here<br>But you held your pride like you should have held me_

As we investigate the fourth interracial couple killed, I can't help but compare them to us. I stop dead in my tracks to stare at the bodies. The man was a strong, well built black man with a buzz cut and dead, unseeing eyes. God, if you ever ended up like that, I don't know what I'd do. The woman had medium brown hair, wavy, much like my own. She too was skinny and had dark circles under her eyes.

My own have been getting progressively darker since everything happened with us. I can't sleep at night without your protective arms snaked around my waist, pulling me into your chest. I miss sleeping in your bed, where everything smelt like you, and even when you got up in the middle of the night, I had Clooney to curl up with in the darkness.

Now all I have is my cold, lonely apartment. I sleep, or at least attempt to, in an empty bed, with no one to keep me company. Actually, I did get a cat the day after we broke up, but it's not the same. I named him Ron, after your favourite wizard in Harry Potter.

"Spencer?" JJ says, waving a hand in front of my face. "Anybody in that big brain of yours?"

"Sorry." I mutter, and finally tear my eyes away from the couple, only to see JJ standing with her arms crossed.

"What's bugging you about this case?" She asks, and even if I could muster up the courage to be honest, I simply could never tell her. She never knew about us, so why should she know, when there's nothing to say?

"Nothing." I say quickly.

"You sure?" She asks again.

"Positive." I lie.

_Oh I'm scared to see the ending  
>Why are we pretending this is nothing?<br>I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how  
>I've never heard silence quite this loud<em>

The awkward only intensifies as we accidentally end up in the same room, by ourselves. Emily had just strode out of the room, and you've already spotted me, so I can't run. You're trying to keep your back to me no matter what, while you study the victim's computer.

I root through they're drawers clumsily, but no matter how much I toss and tumble around their stuff, the noise isn't enough to breach the silence.

I wish I could just talk to you Derek. I wish I could ask you where it all went wrong. I wish you'd tell me how to be a better boyfriend. How to keep you with me. I wish I could tell you how much this is hurting me. But most of all, I just want to tell you how much I miss you.

I come close, almost speaking your name aloud. But my voice seems to get caught in my throat, and the words never make it out of my mouth. I can't figure out how to speak with just us in the master bedroom.

What scares me the most about that, is that it's only been a few weeks. If we're this bad now, not speaking or even looking at each other, then how bad will we be in a few more weeks? A few months? A year?

Just thinking about it is painful. So instead I quietly slip out of the room, relaxing my shoulders once outside.

The things you do to me Derek.

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room  
>And we're not speaking<br>And I'm dying to know, is it killing you  
>Like it's killing me<em>

"What's going on with you Reid?" Hotch asks me, and I try to act as though I'm surprised.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say in a slight mumble, my face reddening as I see Prentiss look up from across the room.

"Yes, you do. Something's getting to you about this case, and whatever it is, you need to tell me. We can't function with team members keeping secrets." He says, and I suppress the urge to look over at you. This is all your fault Morgan.

"I'm not keeping secrets. And nothing's getting to me. I'm fine, I swear." I assure him, but he looks at me like I'm a small child, lying his way out of trouble.

"Reid, I want-"

"Hotch, I'm fine. Please, for the love of god stop pushing it. Let's just focus on catching the unsub right now." I interrupt, and regret it when he gives me a cold glare.

"Fine." He says harshly and leaves me in the hotel lobby to my thoughts.

Suddenly I wish he hadn't.

_I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
>When it all broke down<br>And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now_

All of a sudden, everything clicks into place in my mind. I've been going over case files for the last few hours in my hotel room, unable to sleep. My mind has been going through every possible connection, motive, reason...and finally, something fits.

I grab my phone and call Garcia.

"Office of supreme knowledge and angelic beauty, speak and be heard mere mortal." She chimed, and I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Hey, it's Reid." I tell her, and I can almost hear the grin that appears on her face.

"Did you and-"

"No. You know that's not why I'm calling. This is about the case." I tell her firmly, and she groans.

"Fine, give it to me." She says exasperatedly.

"I need you to go back 20 or so years and check records for any child and spouse abuse cases that involved a black father and a white mother, in which both the child and the mother had been sexually assaulted." I tell her quickly, and she types on her keyboard.

"Just in Miami?"

"No, broaden the search parameters, they could have moved after the case." I say, and lay back on my bed with a yawn.

"Will do. I'll have it to you by morning. Go get some sleep genius." Garcia tells me, and surprisingly, I do just that.

_This is looking like a contest  
>Of who can act like they care less<br>But I liked it better when you were on my side_

As I rush down to the hotel lobby, I spot you chatting up a breakfast waitress. I force myself not to think on it, because if do, I know I'm going to start crying. I see how it is Derek. This is some stupid competition of who can look like they care less. Well two can play at that game.

Before I can do anything, Emily beckons me to our team's table, and I sit between her and Hotch.

"I called Garcia last night, and gave her something new to search on. I'm just waiting for her to call me with any results." I tell them as I happily accept a cup of coffee from JJ.

I nurse the mug as everyone stares at me. "What?"

"Care to elaborate?" Rossi asks with a smirk.

"Oh...um, I figured the unsub must have been abused along with his mother, and that's who the couples represent. The men were killed first, and much more viciously, so they represent his father. And I'm thinking that his mother abandoned him, or something similar, which is why they're killed a little more hesitantly. So Garcia's going back and checking any abuse records matching that description." I explain, and JJ smiles at me brightly.

"Jesus, you are a genius." Emily says and elbows me.

I almost feel a grin appear on my face, but I glance up and see you coming back to the table with a napkin. My happiness disappears with a poof. You got her number? Thanks Derek. Thanks.__

_The battle's in your hands now  
>But I would lay my armour down<br>If you'd say you'd rather love then fight_

After Garcia called me with the unsub's name, Marcus Wells, we rush to his house in our SUVs. And, of course, I'm stuck in the same car as you.

I wish I could just find the courage to say something. Anything. But it's one of those unbreakable silences, so I stay quiet.

We reach the house just as the others do, and hop out of the car without a word spoken.__

_So many things that you wish I knew  
>But the story of us might be ending soon<em>

I almost feel my heart stop as I hear a noise behind me, and before I can react, a sharp blow hits my neck. I fall forwards with a small cry, and my gun is kicked from my hand. Icy fear takes over, but my body won't move.

Suddenly there's an arm around my neck, lifting me from the ground painfully.

"Don't struggle. I'll kill you." Marcus says forcefully in my ear, and I nod in worry. His gun presses to my temple forcefully.

I can hear the rest of the team clearing the house, along with you, and panic starts to set in. I've been in this position before, but for some reason, it seems like this might be my last day alive.

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room  
>And we're not speaking<br>And I'm dying to know, is it killing you  
>Like it's killing me<em>

Marcus shoves me into the living room, and I almost stumble. His grip on my neck tightens, and I try not to cry as Hotch runs into the room, his eyes widening in fear.

He's followed by Emily and Rossi, both of whom stop dead in their tracks out of shock. JJ's next, and she audibly cries out in a small voice, tears already in her blue orbs. And then, you rush in.

This time, I actually look at you. Why avoid it? This could very well be the last time I see you. But instead of your cold facial expression I've been getting used to, I see your entire body language change. One second you're on high alert, and the next you look as though you might fall apart. I see your hands begin to shake and your eyes begin to redden.

"Nobody do anything, or he dies." Marcus shouts angrily. I almost fall apart.

_I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
>When it all broke down<br>And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now  
>Now, now<em>

All of the team try to negotiate with Marcus, but nothing is working. I can feel his grip becoming tighter, and his gun pressing to my temple harshly. I can't keep my eyes off of you. I think I have an excuse now, and I actually enjoy it.

You're eyes lock with mine, and neither of us look away this time. I try not to cry as I realize I might never get to kiss you again. I might never get to tell you I love you. I might not ever get to see you're gorgeous face again.

You never look away from my eyes as you speak.

"Marcus, listen to me. You're going to let him go, right now. You and I both know you're not making it out of here alive if you kill him, or take him with you. I'm giving you the opportunity to prove your parents wrong. You're worth something. Come on, just let go of him." You coach, your voice shaking like your hands. And mine.

I try to talk to you. "Derek-"

"Spencer, please." You warn me, still looking into my eyes. "Marcus, I'm going to count to three."

"One." You say painfully, and I blink back tears.

"Two." You continue, and all I can do is stare at you, and hope to god I make it out of this.

"Thr-" You begin, but Marcus suddenly speaks.

"Fine." He says, and lets go of my neck. I stumble forwards and trip to my knees.

_And we're not speaking  
>And I'm dying to know, is it killing you<br>Like it's killing me?_

I'm somewhat aware of Hotch arresting Marcus, and Rossi explaining his rights, etc. JJ is suddenly at my side, helping me up.

But when I look around you've disappeared, and my heart shatters. Emily looks at me worriedly and puts a hand on my arm tenderly. I can't find it in myself to say anything at all.

Why does this always happen to me? You're the one who always told me I'm a danger magnet. And there's no doubt in the fact that you're right.

We walk outside, and I see you standing a few feet aware, staring at the grass. When we stop on the front step, you look up at me, relief in your eyes. And I can't help but stare at you.

Suddenly, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I walk forwards, and you seem to ready yourself for some sort of confrontation. I try to do the same, but my mind loses the battle to my heart.

Without thinking, I reach where you're standing and kiss you full force. God, I've missed your lips. You freeze in shock for a second, but then pull me closer and kiss me back. Once again you do your job as a mind numbing saviour.

And then I hear the cheers.

_And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
>'Cause we're going down<br>And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now_

"Finally!" JJ calls from the front steps, and high-fives Emily. Well, I'm assuming its Emily. I can't seem to look away from your eyes as we break apart.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Hotch hand Rossi some money, and Rossi mutters a satisfied "Thank _you_."

But again, neither of us can look away.

"I missed you." You breathe, and I feel tears forming.

"Derek, I need to tell you something." I say, surprisingly calm. You straighten up, probably expecting a lecture or an argument.

"I love you." I say, feeling as light as air.

"_What?_"

"I love you. I realized in there that I might never have gotten to say that to you. So...I love you." I repeat myself, and smile.

"I love you too Pretty Boy. Don't you ever leave me again." You say, and I kiss you again, euphoria spreading through my veins.

"Never."

And then Marcus shouts something offensive from the police car, but I'm not listening. You and I are both teary eyed, and still not looking away from you, I give Marcus the finger. And I can't help but laugh as you do.

_The end._

_**Review? I'd really appreciate it. This was meant to be much shorter, but it took on a life of its own and honestly, I ended up finishing it for myself, just to be able to say that I did.**_

_**Thank you for reading. xoxox**_


End file.
